Parenting coordination

Q: What is the goal of Parenting Coordination?

A:  Parenting Coordination seeks to improve communication and coparenting, shift parents from partner to coparents and de-escalate conflict.

Q: What tasks does a Parenting Coordinator perform?

A:  A Parenting Coordinator performs a hybrid role encompassing education, directed conflict resolution, case management, and coaching all of which is child focussed and non-confidential.

Q: At what stage in a separation can a Parenting Coordinator be appointed?

A:  A Parenting Coordinator can be appointed at the time of separation, as parenting plans and consent orders are being negotiated, once interim orders have been made or well after final orders have been agreed and/or determined.

Q: Is parenting coordination confidential?

A: No, parenting coordination is completely reportable.

Q: Can a Parenting Coordinator work with just one parent?

A:  No, both parents need to participate in the parenting coordination programme.

Q: What does a Parenting Coordinator not do?

A:  A Parenting Coordinator does not provide neutral mediation, legal representation, or arbitration. A Parenting Coordinator also has no power to change any court orders.

Q: What happens at a Parenting Coordination intake session?

A:  The individual intake session is an opportunity to review any court order or parenting plan, explain the process and costs, determine suitability and ensure that there is no conflict of interest.  The intake session is an opportunity for you to provide background information and explain the nature of the dispute and your priorities.

Q: What happens at the first Parenting Coordination joint session?

A:  At the first joint session the process and ground rules are re-affirmed and any remaining clarification that is required as to the role of the Parenting Coordinator and how it is different from other roles and services is explained.  The first joint session also affords an opportunity to establish housekeeping rules eg how to communicate and reaffirms the collaborative team building nature of the process.

Q: Can other people be involved in Parenting Coordination sessions?

A:  The parenting coordination process lends itself to other people eg step parents, grandparents to be involved if agreed and where appropriate.

Q: Can a Parenting Coordinator be asked to be a witness in a case?

A:  Yes, the nature of parenting coordination is reportable and not confidential.

PARENTING COORDINATION – AN OVERVIEW

Parenting Coordination guides you in your shift from intimate partners to co-parents and works to achieve optimum outcomes for your children away from conflict.

Parenting Coordination is a hybrid professional service aimed at achieving the best possible emotional and behavioural outcomes for separated families, by helping parents work together when parenting, rather than getting distracted by ongoing parental conflicts.

Parenting Coordination aims to heighten the awareness of co-parents as to pitfalls in the post separation and divorce pathway and selectively build cooperative co-parenting skills.

Parenting Coordination provides:-

• Education and information
• Directed conflict resolution
• Child focussed case management
• Direction and non-binding decision making
• Solutions for your children away from the court and lawyers

It’s all very well to have your divorce finalised and to be given the orders that you each need to comply with.  However, if you haven’t learned how to disagree without it escalating out of control, Parenting Coordination will help you work out which decisions are negotiable and how there can be compromise to help your family recover and move on.

Importantly, Parenting Coordination:-

• Involves both parents. It can also include other people eg grandparents
• Is not confidential
• Is an effective collaborative building framework to share parenting knowledge effectively

It’s about learning to work together to ensure the impact of your separation on your children is minimised.  You are sure to agree that you want the best for your children so now you need to put your other disagreements aside and learn to co-parent effectively.

A Parenting Coordinator can be appointed:-

• Prior to your separation – acting in a preventative way
• After separation but before a parenting plan or court order has been made
• After orders (including interim orders) have been made or a parenting plan has been agreed
• Well after orders have been made eg as children transition into high school

How is a Parenting Coordinator appointed?:-

• Parenting Coordinators are appointed by agreement or pursuant to a court order made by consent or otherwise
• As part of this process a Parenting Coordination agreement is entered into by all parties

What are the benefits for your children?

• Less conflict in front of the children
• Reduced stress for the child when dealing with parents
• Increased likelihood of having both parents remain active in their life
• Enhanced confidence and self-esteem

What are the benefits for you?

• Less aggravation when having to deal with your ex regarding parenting issues
• Less disruption to the new family dynamics as everyone settles in more easily
• Greater knowledge about anger management, effective communication and conflict resolution skills
• Reduced risk of future litigation
• Parents learn to resolve “the little things” along with the bigger issues, that arise as a result of separation and divorce
• Ensures both parents are complying with the Parenting Orders or Parenting Plans

What are the benefits for your family?

• Parents learn to prioritise the needs of their children in a meaningful way
• Ensuring parents comply with Parenting Orders or Parenting Plans
• Reducing the conflict between parents that can occur after the Orders have been made
• Reducing the conflict and stress that the whole family can experience when parents cannot agree or even communicate.
• Demonstrating to your children that families can still work together even when the parents no longer live together.
• Providing support and reassurance when issues do arise, so that the family can confidently move on from each issue.

Success Stories:-

Empirical studies from the United States and Canada show that Parenting Coordination is a new foolproof way of:-

• Staying out of court
• Minimising the adverse child experience that can arise following separation
• Promoting optimum outcomes for children

Three phases of Parenting Coordination:-

Stage One – Consensus building:-

• Appointing the Parenting Coordinator
• Signing the Agreement
• Review of any Parenting Plan or Order
• Individual intake sessions where background information is obtained and concerns are discussed

Stage Two – Developing your Co-parenting relationship:-

First joint session where:-

• • Ground rules are set
  • The process is clarified including addressing any fee queries
  • Team building is further discussed and the involvement of other professionals, where appropriate is considered
  • Planning of the frequency of subsequent joint sessions is undertaken
  • An agenda is set for future discussions
  • At a minimum, twelve monthly joint sessions are undertaken
  • Can opt for a higher frequency
  • Can opt for extended joint sessions eg for two hours
  • Additionally can ask for extra services eg email monitoring, availability after hours and in case of emergency

Stage Three – Coordinated Co-parenting:-

• Disengaging the Parenting Coordinator occurs here
• May take from between three to six months
• Individually tailored to your family
• This stage is best to plan towards the end of stage two