Lawyer assisted mediation and family dispute resolution, if utilised well, is really the gold standard for separating couples in conflict to quickly move towards a resolution. Mediators and family lawyers both play an important role in helping separated couples in conflict reach agreement through mediation and dispute resolution
Lawyers are trained in the legal aspects of family law and can provide legal advice about what the Family Court is likely to do if you file an application in the court and ask a judge to make a decision about your matter. Lawyers can give you advice about the likely best and worst case scenarios for your particular family circumstances which help you make informed decisions.
Mediators are trained in communication skills and conflict resolution. They can help you talk to each other effectively, even when talking is undertaken remotely or in a shuttle mediation format. Mediators are experienced at helping you identify common ground and developing mutually beneficial solutions.
Magic can happen when all of these skills are in the one room. Family lawyers and mediators working well together provide a comprehensive approach to you being able to resolve your conflict through family dispute resolution and avoid the stressful, lengthy and costly experience of a family law court case after the already difficult time you are having as a newly separated spouse, partner and/or parent.
In the family dispute resolution process or in a mediation, good family lawyers listen actively to the concerns and issues of not only you, their client, but everyone in the room. They are adaptable and can change course midway through and use their problem solving experience to offer solutions and think outside the box which all contributes to helping you reach the best agreement for your family.
Keep in mind however that you are the one making the decisions in mediation. You are the one who has to live with the agreements you reach including the consequences of going to court if an agreement cannot be found. Importantly, you should remember the mediator and the family lawyers will leave soon and it’ll be you that is left having to deal with your life and deal with the outcomes of the mediation.
Experienced professionals only want the best for you and your family and can effectively employ their skills to help you achieve that. So, how can you determine which mediator is truly well placed to look after you? Experience tells us that it is worthwhile to ask yourself:
- Does my family lawyer use active listening skills? Do they really understand my concerns or are they only dealing reactively with surface issues?
- Is my family lawyer creative and strategic? Can they offer recommendations that, while maybe a little unconventional, are a great fit for me?
- Is my family lawyer flexible? Can they adapt to the ever-changing lives of me and my family or are they stuck on a fixed course and only able to offer a narrow range of outcomes?
- Does my family lawyer reframe my negative comments sometimes said by me about my ex when I am letting off steam? Or do they run amok with what in hindsight was simply something I had to get off my chest ie. are they themselves insightful enough to hold space for me in this process?
A good family law mediator;
- Is well respected in their field and has built longstanding professional relationships with their colleagues
- Has the resolve to not let anyone give up too quickly
- Is generous with their time
- Is patient and empathetic while not losing sight of the need to facilitate an agreed outcome
- Is up to date with current thinking and can offer a wealth of experience in family law to bring to your negotiating table
- Can keep everybody accountable in the process and is able to have a quiet word with one of the family lawyers should some of the ground rules start to be disrespected.
Separation inevitably brings with it heightened emotions. Experienced family law mediators and family lawyers who are comfortable in this space and level -headed are really worth their weight in gold. Keeping you out of court is their main objective and this enables you to move on quickly with confidence and certainty.