Collaborative Family Law focuses on your interests, needs, and concerns, and not on fixed positions that you may take. So, what are interests, needs, and concerns and how are they different?
Interests
Interests are your desires or goals–the things that you want to achieve in a conflict situation. Unlike positions – which are simple statements such as “I’m pro-choice” or “I’m pro-life” – the interest underlying those positions is the answer to the question ‘WHY do you want that?” or “WHY do you feel that way?” On the pro-choice side, the interest might then be to protect the ability of the mother to make her own health care decisions, while on the pro-life side, it may be to uphold a belief that people should not make the choices about life and death.
Negotiations that focus primarily on interests are called interest-based negotiations.
Focussing on interests rather than positions works for two reasons. The first, for every interest there usually exist several possible positions that could satisfy it. The second, reconciling interests rather than compromising between positions also works because behind opposed positions lie many more common interests than conflicting ones.
Focusing on interests can help you to uncover hidden problems and allow you to identify which issues are of most concern to you. Focusing on interests can resolve the problems underlying a dispute more effectively than focusing on rights or power. This is because reconciling interests tends to generate a higher level of mutual satisfaction, better relationships, and lower transaction costs than resorting to rights or power contests.
When you define your conflict in terms of positions, you are likely to appear to be highly intractable, since one person wants something that the other completely opposes. Therefore, rather than describing a dispute in terms of positions about what you want, it is often helpful to redefine the situation in terms of the reasons that underlie these positions. By focusing on underlying interests rather than overt positions, resolution-resistant conflicts often become easier to solve. This is because, in many cases, interests are compatible, even when positions are not. Focusing on interests enables you to identify win-win solutions to problems that might not have been evident when the issues were described in terms of position.
Needs
Needs are not necessarily only linked to basic needs for survival such as the need or safety and security, but can be related to assertion of identity.
Needs are the goals pursued by an individual or a group in order to survive. They can have an objective nature if the lack of provision of these needs results in a physical threat to survival (basic needs). They can also be subjective (perceived needs) when they are not a direct factor in survival. Positions, on the other hand, are the expression of the aim or goal of a person. Positions are always subjective.
Needs and positions can be the same thing in two situations:
- With perceived needs – where the person cannot separate their personal perception of a need from the reality of the situation;
- When the person expresses their need clearly within their position.
Concerns
A concern is something that makes you feel worried. The difference between a concern and worry however, is that a concern usually focusses on wanting to find a solution whereas a worry is just ruminating about something distressing.
Concerns help us focus, plan, clarify a purpose and implicitly involves caring for others.
Examples
|
INTERESTS |
“I want to be recognised for: |
· Being honourable · Doing the right thing by others and/or generosity to my family and friends · Financially supporting my family; creating financial wealth & commitment to our family · Creating opportunity for others (family & friends) · Being an engaged and loving parent · Sacrifices made to create financial opportunity, adventure, security for my family · Trying to reconnect and work on the relationship and not have blame sitting at my feet for the breakdown of this relationship · Working hard, managing our family finances despite difficulties with my mental health · The work I have done on myself and how I have grown as a person · Supporting my former spouse in their career aspirations · Creating a warm and nurturing home life for our family |
|
NEEDS |
“I need: |
· My family to be in the same geographical location · My former spouse to support me in keeping our family together geographically · My children to remain in Australia for the balance of their schooling to create security for them · To continue a sense of family with us both; remain a family · For us both to be in our children’s lives · For us both to be involved in the decisions that relate to our children · Ensure the children are provided for · Minimise our tax implications in any financial/property settlement · Minimise disruption for the children and create stability for them · Keep my family safe · Create two homes for our children when our children are comfortable with us both · Establish similar homes for my former spouse and I when our children are with us · Both of us to have a sense of independence and autonomy · To feel connected to where I live spiritually · My former spouse to find themself and what they enjoy career-wise · To stay in a place where I can work to financially provide and be challenged |
| Category | Statement | Points |
|---|---|---|
| Interests | I want to be recognised for: |
|